My peaceful parenting story

• Peaceful parenting is very important for parents and children because it builds character, trust, and love. It also teaches us as parents to not allow our emotions/feelings lead us.
• Having two children under the age of four is very time consuming and also has challenging moments. There are days that I want to have my own personal space, which I’ve learned is okay to think and/or say. In order to care for two children, I have to take care of myself first.
• After having my firstborn, I had many frustrating feelings, because I was overtired, I couldn’t get my newborn to latch properly and everything was new for me as a new mom. Let’s just say, all of those factors tied together does not equal peaceful parenting. However, I did my best to not take my  frustrations out on her. After having my second child, my peaceful parenting practices we’re too present. I noticed I was very short and inpatient with my oldest. She had a difficult time adjusting to sharing her mommy with the new little person in the house. I don’t blame her because she wasn’t getting my full attention the way she was used to. As time went on I noticed I wasn’t watering my eldest’s garden with love. Instead, I was yelling at her, which was lowering her self-esteem.  Once I realized my actions, I made a promise to myself to do my best to not get easily frustrated with my her by taking time to listen to her and play with her. 

What is peaceful parenting?

• Peaceful parenting is parents coming to an understanding that our children are not responsible for our choices. It’s not our child’s fault we lash out because we need to be responsible for our choices and we shouldn’t put our feelings or blame on our precious children.
• Some misconceptions with peaceful parenting are giving your child rewards to change their behavior. For many years parents have confused positive reinforcement (such as reward charts), with peaceful parenting. Since I’ve personally experienced this, I can tell you now rewards don’t work long term.

Why is peaceful parenting important?

• Okay, use your imagination for a minute… Actually, this might be you. Think about a moment your children are looking for your attention. The four-year-old is running around uncontrollably because your love wants your undivided attention.  The nine-month-old is crying because he/she is tired or hungry. Your brain is going 1,000 miles/hour because you’re trying to figure out your next steps. You’re overwhelmed, so you yell at the 4-year-old who is now crying while trying to help the crying baby. Fast forward, you helped both children with their needs by soothing and comforting them and now both of them are asleep. You are doing your best to keep it together, so you go online to search for techniques online. We have all been there, whether your love is a teenager or a baby, we still look for parenting guidance. I’m going to sound cliché for a minute, but NO ONE IS PERFECT!
• During the frustrating moments, do your best to take control of your emotions before saying something you will regret.
• Being calm when communicating with children helps promote their emotional and mental development. 
• Practicing peace, will meet the child’s and the parent’s love language. 
• Having children experience calm behaviors, helps them have a growing self-esteem.  

Common questions/FAQ about peaceful parenting

• How can I be a peaceful parent?
  • If you are truly embedded to start practicing peaceful parenting, the best place to start is with your mindset. I say this because we are the ones who are in control of or reactions. Do this by setting  goals to focus on connecting your peaceful thoughts and your actions.
  • Talking to your precious love about the situation is very helpful. For example, my 4-year-old daughter enjoys playing with blocks. Her 10-month-old curious brother tries to explore with her. Sometimes she gets mad and grabs her toys out his hands. So, at that moment, I ask her to pause for a bit, use her words with him and give him something that he is able to play with – I even ask her to think of ways they can play together. Sometimes I ask her if she cares more about her toys than her brother. I shared this example with you to say that our first response doesn’t have to be anger.
  • From practicing peaceful parenting, of course, there are many emotions, but you can set limits, teach, explain what is happening, and ask for your child’s input.
• How do I practice peaceful parenting?
  • As you may or may not know, everyone is not perfect. I myself have some challenging moments of practicing and becoming a peaceful parent. Here are some techniques to try:
    • invest quality one-on-one time with my children daily
    • making routines consistent
    • be sure your child gets the sleep they need
    • work together with your spouse so that you both are on the same page.
    • encouraging your child to practice problem-solving skills.
    • talk through the challenging moments instead of sending them to “time.”
  • How do I stop yelling and start connecting?
  • When we as parents make the decision to understand our emotions, we start to see a change in our parenting styles. Such as: better communication, empathizing with your child, and raising your child to have self-discipline skills.
  • Once you acknowledge your emotions, you will meet your precious love’s needs and have a very strong bond.

The last thing you need to know about peaceful parenting

• Peaceful parenting takes time and dedication. When you set your mind to change your energy and have more peaceful moments with your family, you will see this method is a very powerful thing.
• Are you a peaceful parent? Are you practicing peaceful parenting? Please share your journey with us 🙂